My first day has come to a close. I have no idea how it happened, but i smell like an indian man. I never smell like this! Shower
  Now  I'm cozy in my twin bed. It's only 4 inches thick but much softer than the street. My room has lovely, bare lavendar walls. I think some one painted the trim with a yellow highlighter. This hue is brightened by the single 3 foot long flourescent bulb that hangs on the wall.
I went to an ayuvedic spa called Sanskriti for a 90 minute massage. Amanda P, this is the kind of massage that made you giggle in class. This little Indian woman very kindly had her way with me. It was marvelous. I left dripping with healing Ayurvedic oils. But not before I had a cheese and olive sandwich on the deck overlooking the Ganga.
I seemed to be in a fog for the rest of the day.
PK brought me to see Swami-ji at the ashram. Swami-ji asked me what questions I had for him. I had no questions. I couldn't think of one thing. What kind of question was I supposed to ask! Sitting on his floor with a bald Indian man, save one little pony tail, I just wanted to ask if I could take a nap! He finally just started talking. He told me always go to bed at 8pm.... No way that's going to happen. I'm writing this at 10:30pm... He said to eat at 6pm and if I eat only fruit I will have digested well enough to sleep at 8pm. He then insisted that I try what he has for dinner. I followed him into his kitchen, which smelled like a giant toilet that really needs to be flushed. He peeled a banana and dipped it in ghee. I really don't like ghee. I especially dont like the kind swami-ji made himself from his own cow. He spooned the dripping homemade ghee from his own cow into my mouth and watched me eat it. I've never chewed anything so slowly, hoping that he'd turn his head just long enough for the spit in the hand, put in the pocket move. Actually, that's not true. When I arrived starving in Santorini after a 12 hour ferry ride, the hotel manager offered me his lunch. Stuffed green peppers. My absolute kriptonite. The 'oh no I couldn't eat your lunch!' miserably failed and I forced down the green devil of all foods... Anyway I swallowed the slimy banana and bolted claiming jet lag, which was true! Back to my lavendar palace for a nap.
I went to the evening puja on the river at the giant Shiva statue. A priest came at me with a little red stick, he painted a tilak on my third eye. He grabbed my left hand and pushed flowers and peanuts into it. He told me to hold his tray and grabbed my right hand. He started tying red string around my right wrist asking me to repeat after him. At some point I began to recognize the Gayatri mantra. He made the final knot and demanded 100 ruppees. I guess I got blessed!
PK brought me to his cousins' shops. He has a lot of cousins. The 2 jeweler cousins, the deity selling cousin, the bookstore cousin etc.
Im finally ready to go home so PK has his assistant walk me home 'because it is dark and there are a lot of cows'.
He was right. Lots of cows!